“Be as patient as you are ambitious.” -anon from a music chat
This is my last day, I did it!
I’m going to use this last day of advice to talk about the latest meme to hit the internet: Terrence Howard, mane. Aka, finding various ways to place Terrence Howard’s face onto an image and caption it with a funny quote that includes “mayne/mane.”
The viral joke stems from an old interview brought back from the dead (2008), where Jamie Foxx expresses his frustration with Howard. In the interview, Foxx shares how Howard criticized his music. Foxx then proceeds to do an impression of Howard’s acting skills, saying that every role Howard portrays is the same and all he says is “… Mane.”
Fast forward to 2017, Howard’s face and “mayne” quotes are Black Twitter’s favorite new toy. After a few days of memes, Howard finally responded with a video having fun with the jokes. While watching the video, someone in my circle said, “at least he’s being a good sport about it.”
Of COURSE, he’s being a good sport. This is free publicity for him. In fact, I bet his agent is booking his next movie deal off this and his manager/lawyer are probably negotiating for extra because he’s “hot right now.”
My friend, who I’ve mentioned in the past as my “guardian angel,” told me once:
Being famous is about everyone seeing you and talking about you, all of the time.
It’s that simple. In theory.
Here are some other notes I want to add, for those who want go viral / be famous…
(if this isn’t you or you could “care less,” stop reading. I don’t want any silly comments about “there are better things in life” blah blah… I have other entries for that. Today is all about the FAME, baby!)
HOW TO BE FAMOUS:
- Have everyone see you and talk about you, all of the time. As much as I loathe the Kardashians, the Hadids, etc. They’ve definitely got this on lock. Some people choose to be controversial in order to achieve this. That’s not my cup of tea, but hey, do you.
- Be prepared. If this is something you want, and not an accident, be prepared. Keep multiple projects/offerings going. Start building your brand and your online platforms now, so you can take advantage of the traffic that comes your way. And if you have a heads up (like Teyana Taylor in Kanye’s Fade music video,) you have no excuse. Do you know how much money she could have made on the spot if she had a link to her workout plan available when that video dropped? I’m STILL mad about this missed opportunity.
- Offer something of substance. Think about what you’re offering your audience. Are you a model? Selling clothes/products? Advice? A lifestyle? If you have a specialized skill, even better. Offering something of value allows you to have longevity and makes it that much harder to replace you.
- Own it. Be yourself. Now is not the time to be shy, or try to be something you’re not. I’m under the belief that people love those who are the most comfortable in their own skin. If you pretend to be someone else, and you don’t have that confidence, it’s not going to get better. It’s going to get worse. Better to love yourself and have that core audience who loves the real you, rather than hating yourself in the long run for the sake of a few extra fans who could care less about who you truly are. “Sometimes the most revolutionary thing we can do is simply be ourselves.”
- Act fast. As soon as your name/face hits mainstream, the clock starts counting down. NOW is the time to book interviews, negotiate longer term deals, milk this moment. Because at the end of the day, what is fame if you can’t monetize it? Better hop on it!
Another actors tidbit from Amy Jo Berman but can be applied to any occupation and even relationships too:
If you gave an absolute KICK-ASS audition, you may not get the role simply because you’re too tall and the person playing opposite you is 5’2”…or you look like the Producer’s brother and he hates his brother.
But most often, the reason you don’t get the part even when you’ve given a totally amazeballs audition, is because of your mindset.
You may have a deep-seated belief that you don’t deserve it or you’re not good enough and that comes through your amazing audition and tells the Casting Director not to hire you.
This is somewhat of a continuation from yesterday’s post.
Where you lay your head to rest every night is way more important than you think.
Granted, not everyone has the luxury of having a warm, safe place to sleep at night. I am grateful to have shelter, but I also want to talk about how your sanctuary contributes to the sanctuary of your mind.
I used to just rent the best place in my overly stringent budget. When I was first starting out, that meant some pretty shitty places and situations. I’m talking 5-7 disgusting roommates, one who smoked in his room, and combined they had 3 cats who they’d let roam free INCLUDING ON THE STOVE TOP. (nightmarish situations)
Right now, I am in what I thought was going to be a cute lil apartment. Instead, 2.5 years later, I have:
- a bathroom ceiling that is literally about to cave in from leaks,
- cracks in my ceiling and headaches from my upstairs neighbor that has mental health issues and fits of violent rage against himself, (I’ve tried multiple ways to help/report, believe me.)
- sleepless nights from my next door neighbor blasting (and “singing”) Rihanna’s ‘Stay’ on repeat for the past month at the top of his cigarette-smoke damaged lungs, (literally screaming down the hall and coughing up a lung .025 seconds later)
- OCD issues from this roach-infested building
- PTSD and diatomaceous earth dust all over my apartment from multiple bed bug experiences
- Bare walls and a half-decorated apartment because I’m always afraid bed bugs will come back in from the neighbors
Yet I stayed. I stayed for 2 1/2 years. Why? A combo of reasons:
- I didn’t want to go through the effort of finding another place to live in the NYC real estate climate
- I wasn’t sure what I could afford or what I would be approved for ( I didn’t even look)
- I have a bias against roommates
- I thought it would get better
- Paralyzation from being overwhelmed
- I misjudged the effect a place of residence has on the human psyche
I was so embarrassed about my apartment. I never had people come or stay over, maybe about 8 people total have been to my place over the past 2 1/2 years. 8 people over maybe 12 visits total. The last time I had company was when my mother stayed over for my Uncle’s funeral in August 2016. When I worked from home, I was the most depressed I had ever been. I often would choose to eat out, because I knew if I cooked something delicious, I would probably wake up to a sneaky bug that crawled in from the hallway or the wall overnight.
I’m not rolling in the dough, I’m actually jobless right now. And as soon as I move to LA in the next few weeks, I will be “homeless.” But one thing I will be taking with me on this move is the lessons I’ve learned from my nightmarish apartments. And that means:
- A clean building w/ attentive management (or I will push for immediate action on issues)
- A modern, bright place w/ central air/heating
- Laundry in apt or building
- Hiring an interior designer for my room
- A kitchen I can cook in
- Roommates if I must, in order to afford such a place (most likely)
- A sanctuary I can call home
I can be frugal to a fault. I have no problem spending or traveling a few extra hours to get a good deal, or save money. But over the years, I’ve learned that it’s okay to pay a premium in exchange for peace of mind.
Let me say that again for the people in the back:
It’s okay to pay a premium in exchange for peace of mind.
Definitely DO NOT go overboard if you don’t have a premium amount in your bank account. haha But if paying an extra $50 to fly into BUR rather than LAX, spending $15 on an uber late at night rather than public transport, or spending $ on a unique experience you really want to do while traveling will contribute your overall happiness, decrease your stress and significantly save time, I say go for it.
“Ambition can be a prison”
Check your credit and check it often.
Consider this your reminder to log in to Creditkarma/Credit Sesame and order your annual report. I logged into today to an early Christmas present: a fraudulent collection report of $98 from Midwest Recovery Systems. I have never heard of them, did not incur the charges they filed as overdue, nor had I ever even be contacted to contest the validity of this collection amount. Now my beautiful credit looks like a murder scene right as I’m trying to move to LA soon. Ah!
I went to handy dandy Google, and of course I see tons and tons of complaints from people with experiences worse than me. Luckily I came across a very helpful post on myfico. I’m posting both the link here and the resolution in text, just in case they try to remove it. (With shady businesses like these, under this shady AF Trump administration, I would not be surprised. )
Steps I took, now I’m just hoping for a resolution:
- Filed w/ all 3 credit bureaus as “Not Mine.” I filed with TransUnion through CreditKarma, and direct with Equifax and Experian.
- Submit a complaint with the CFPB, this is a agency created by Elizabeth Warren and the Obama Administration that Trump is trying to get rid of. It allows consumers to file official complaints against corporations to cut down on illegal financial activity, bullying, etc.
“The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau is an agency of the United States government responsible for consumer protection in the financial sector.”
- File a complaint on their BBB page. They have to pay $$$ to keep that A+ rating, so make them work for it.
I wish you the best of luck!