Life-changing opportunities are coming my way.

Today I had the opportunity to audition for CBS! I dropped a headshot in the mail, and they responded, inviting me in. I flew to LA knowing that I was literally flying across the country for a 3-min audition, but hey, it’s not every day CBS hits you up.

The longest part if the process, was figuring out which lot to park in, and walking from the garage through the campus to the right building (and finding the right door to get to the right floor/room… Yes it was a JOURNEY).

But once I got there I was legit there for 3 min, including wait time, into, and performance. It went so fast, I couldn’t even guage how well it went. I’m just taking the fact that I’m not eating myself up alive as a good sign that I did what I needed to do — left everything in the room and if they liked something they saw, they’ll let me know.

“Don’t call us, we’ll call you.”

I also just started working for a media/ecomm hybrid startup that specializes in street wear. It’s the perfect side job to supplement my acting. I already loved the world of streetstyle and I get to produce/be on camera. Not to mention the founder is super flexible and supportive of my acting, and values what I bring to the table.

Looks like the fall/winter has BIG TINGS in store! I just need to book that guest star/costar role right now.

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Ready for takeoff.

Last week, I found out that I have a big audition out in LA! I’m super excited and very nervous. My manager wasn’t as excited (weird), in fact, she’s been extremely “meh” lately.  But maybe it’s because it’s just an audition and I haven’t booked it yet.

I bought my plane ticket and I’ll be heading out to LA again for a week.

I’ve also been busy with a few shoots here and there, and things are moving forward with that streetwear hosting gig. He accepted my day rate, and once they accept the contract revisions, we’ll be good to go! *fingers crossed*

Things seem to be picking up for the fall, and I feel like something big is brewing. My manager said I absolutely HAVE to book a notable role on a big TV or Film project this fall in order to be shopped around for pilot season Jan-March. Otherwise, I’ll have to wait all the way until 2019.

Ughhh. I REFUSE!

 

I gotta pull a co-starring role out of my ass somehow with no agent, and not many high-level CD connections…..

Wish me luck.

 

Humanity is messy. People are messy.

Acting tips, bookmarked for my personal reference.

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For artists of color– lifting the burden of representing your race: 

Viola Davis was direct. “That very mindset that you have and that a lot of African-Americans have is absolutely destroying the black artist,” she said. “The black artist cannot live in a revisionist place,” she added. “The black artist can only tell the truth about humanity, and humanity is messy. People are messy. Caucasian actors know that.”

“We as African-American artists are more concerned with image and message and not execution,” she said, “which is why every time you see your images they’ve been watered down to the point where they are not realistic at all.”

“My whole thing is, do I always have be noble?” she continued. “As an artist, you’ve got to see the mess.”

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Auditioning – Leave your ego outside the door:

“​Leave your ego outside the door. Resist thinking about the potential outcome of this audition. Bask in the joy of living in the character for the 10 minutes that you have in that room.” ​- Warner Loughlin

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Audition Slates – Introduce yourself to a person, a human: 

I suggest that you slate as if it were an introduction to someone, not as a presentation, announcement, or line reading. When auditioning, I suggest that you honestly introduce yourself to someone in the room (usually the person running the session) while looking into the camera lens. You should be positive and enjoy introducing yourself. Smile, if it feels right, but if you smile just to smile, it will look insincere. Smile because you are confident and having fun, then it will be relaxed or engaging.Be spontaneous!

Don’t lock in one way of introducing yourself. Be aware that each time you say your name the inflection is just a little different. If there isn’t some difference each time, then you have probably locked into a “line reading.” Add a “Hi, I’m” or a “Hello, my name is” and then your name. This will make it friendly and less like you are reporting for military duty.

– Caroline Barry

Paralyzed.

Since I stopped freelancing for the tech company, I’ve been living off of savings for 2 months. I swore off the traditional clients…and promised myself that from now on, any job I accept must have one of these elements:

1 – allow me to be on-camera,

2 – involve video/creativity, or

3 – somehow incorporate my storytelling/content creation skills.

I know I must focus ALL of my efforts towards the same end goal rather than putting a lot of time and energy into solely tech marketing for random startups… which even though I enjoy the challenges, doesn’t really get me anywhere near my goals as an actress and music influencer.

However:

During these past 2 months, I have enjoyed the glimpses of potential roles, blissful freedom do to whatever I want, and a plethora of opportunities to collab…  but I still haven’t found a JOB. That one thing or service (in entertainment/media) that’s going to pay the bills (while I still act.) It’s extremely uncomfortable having money go out the door with nothing coming back in.

But guess what’s worse than diarrhea of the bank account:

Doubt.

I’m having doubts about whether this opportunity will ever come.  Doubts about whether the status quo is there for a reason, and I’m just being a lazy millenial f*ck and just need to suck it up and slave away; reducing my passions to a side job or afterthought, until I can afford to focus on them full time. And it sucks. Because the doubt leads to indecision. I can’t make a damn decision about whether to wait, do something else, move to LA, stay in NY, or do anything at all!

But deep deep down, past the doubt on the surface, I still have heart and I still have faith. Something has to work out. It has to. Every night I’m willing my self-conscious to reveal the way and make the answers clear. I just need to make a decision.

Silver linings — new perspectives.

So after waking up and having an amazing day, compared to the yesterday of crappiness… I realize that I need to change my perspective on auditioning. Despite being an actress, and despite having solid interview, presentation and public speaking skills, there have been numerous times where I have fell flat in the audition room. (Not as bad as yesterday’s incident though.)

Before, I used to think I needed more training, (which I always will) but I really just need more confidence and a change in perspective on auditions.

In the corporate world, I can interview my pants off for any marketing role I desire. I walk into every interview extremely confident in my expertise, knowing exactly what value I bring to any company, what I’m worth, and I view every interview as a mutual evaluation. So why the hell would my approach to auditions be any different? And why haven’t I connected the two sooner?! I’m baffled at why I haven’t transferred these skills over, until now.

From this day forward,  I am viewing each audition as a simple meet-and-greet. The part is already mine, and qualification is not a question, they just need to see me.  The only thing left is a merely a matter of is this the right fit? and do I want to collaborate with this particular production/project?

Boom. New perspective.

I already feel empowered.

Can you feel a brand new day?

Today was 10x better than yesterday’s bad day fluke.

Weather was amazing. Hair salon was speedy and efficient. Iced chai latte was on point. Chicken sandwich with fries from a random cafe was surprisingly delicious. Photoshoot was poppin. Call with my manager was extremely pleasant.  Test read for film pilot was promising. Cast was hilarious. Full moon was BEAUTIFUL. And bonus — good news came knockin. I booked another role for one of those murder mystery minidoc TV shows. The pay is horrendous, but hey, I’m not complaining. It’s an extra IMDb credit and more footage for the reel.