Acting: Making them feel something.

“The camera can capture my face, but until it captures my soul, you don’t have a movie.” – KW

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Can you feel a brand new day?

Today was 10x better than yesterday’s bad day fluke.

Weather was amazing. Hair salon was speedy and efficient. Iced chai latte was on point. Chicken sandwich with fries from a random cafe was surprisingly delicious. Photoshoot was poppin. Call with my manager was extremely pleasant.  Test read for film pilot was promising. Cast was hilarious. Full moon was BEAUTIFUL. And bonus — good news came knockin. I booked another role for one of those murder mystery minidoc TV shows. The pay is horrendous, but hey, I’m not complaining. It’s an extra IMDb credit and more footage for the reel.

 

Film is a visual first.

Produced and starred in a short film this weekend. Nothing was riding on this film, it was just a great exercise to go out and create. Here are my takeaways:

  • Film is a visual first.
  • Pre-production/strategy is vital. STORYBOARD, create a film schedule, plan out your shots ahead of time to save time.
  • 48 hour creative competitions are a lot of work and a lot of stress.
  • However, do set deadlines so you can force yourself to get out of your head and create.
  • Start the editing process, EARLY.
  • Start the rendering process, EARLY. Earlier than you would expect.
  • Be picky about who you work with. Better crew, better vibes, better productivity, better outcome.
  • Smaller crew = better productivity
  • Things you should never skimp on: Talented acting, Hair/Makeup, Sound quality, Strong direction.
  • Compromise. You may not see the vision at first, but try to be open. Beautiful things can happen when you release control and let another person take the wheel.
  • Be flexible. Anything can change the day of the shoot. Revisit the root of the idea. There’s always another way to execute.
    • For example, the director had a great vision of a camera pan, but because it was a low-budget film, we definitely didn’t have a dolly. He ended putting two towels on the floor and used the towels to slide the tripod on the floor. You would have never known the difference in the finished film.

Lastly,

  • Married men who tempt you and conveniently leave out the fact that they have a WHOLE ASS WIFE, are the devil. lol.

Cash me onstage, how bow dah. (revisit)

It’s hard not to compare yourself to others, especially when you see some of your friends and peers living out your dreams. Sometimes it feels as if I made a wrong turn, or chose the zig zag path. Sometimes doubt kicks in. And after the doubt is quickly erased and pushed out of memory, I still wonder: am I in denial? Does wanting it badly enough and working hard always lead to a successful outcome? How do I remain consistent when there’s so many things I want to do?

They say shoot for the moon, shoot for the stars… but what if you’re still deciding who you are, where you stand? I mean, I’m still looking for a starting line, did I miss it? It feels like I’m running a race. Other times I feel like running away and escaping all the pressure, cuz confession: I still don’t know who I am. Like who am I meant to be? What is God’s plan for me? When will I meet my destiny?  And why can’t I ever see it so damn clearly, like others do? (or pretend to) And is it in His hands, or do I have a say?

Alright, so I could be rushing things… again. I just feel like I’m running out of time. I feel like I’m on the outside… still looking on the outside…

whhhhhew. Just breathe. Take it day, by day, by day….

___

Okay for kicks, I’ll go REALLY BIG then.Career only. Put some crazy things out into the “universe” on this anonymous blog/diary. If even one of these sticks, I will be a happy camper!

2017:

  • I will be admired for my creativity and vision in acting, film and music. This admiration will be conveyed in the form of publicity, red carpet appearances, invite only networking events, increased opportunities and money.
  • I will live completely off of acting, hosting and music and make more than $100K in earnings!
  • I will publish my first EP in 2017! And it will receive 1,000 downloads.
  • I will have an acting reel that I am proud of.

2018:

  • I will produce and star in my own show (and be paid for it!)
  • I will be on Spotify, Pandora, Shazam, Apple Music.
  • I will live in and afford a chic apartment or condo I am proud of
  • I will take my dad on vacation
  • I will be on the Forbes 30 under 30 list.

2019: (2 years)

  • I will be paid to travel the world, meet new people and record my journey.
  • I will work with Chance the Rapper!
  • I will hit 1M views on Youtube.
  • I will have a guest role on Atlanta or similar show that I admire.

2020: (3 years)

  • I will be in a project that plays at Sundance or Cannes. And win.
  • I will pay off my student loans.
  • I will make an appearance on Ellen.

2022: (5 years)

  • I will be a household name for my positive impact on the world.
  • I will have a leading role on a television (or netflix, amazon etc) series.
  • I will star in a major motion picture.
  • I will have a song that hits Billboard #1.
  • I will buy my mom a house.
  • I will buy myself a house.
  • I will own my own business and/or product line.

2024: (7 years)

  • I will be my own version of Childish Gambino / Donald Glover.
  • I will have the means to be an angel investor for a company I believe in.

2027: (10 years)

  • I will win a Grammy.
  • I will win an Emmy.
  • I will meet the Obamas and Oprah. (lol just threw this one in there)

* I revised these an hour later to remove all practicalities and realisms. Dreaming really REALLY big is kinda hard! This was an exercise in freeing my limitations and I wanted these to be absolutely ridiculous and as random as possible.

I will spend time visualizing and saying each one aloud and will call it a night.

__

Update- 5/29/17: I’ve revisited this page 5 times.