In New York we have earthquakes, they’re called upstairs neighbors.

I have an upstairs neighbor who is out of control. He has above average stomping capabilities, is extremely restless, and love to drag his furniture all over the floor. I’m convinced he is incapable of doing any activity quietly or sleeping. I have cracks forming in my ceiling now because of him.

But this isn’t your average “my upstairs neighbor is horrible” rant. I’m actually concerned for his sanity (and mine.)

Now, I’m far from a licensed medical anything, but something is seriously off. Every two weeks this man will go into a fit of rage, either fighting himself or upset about something else. I’ll hear him screaming holy terror at the top of his lungs, banging stuff, throwing things around… a few times he’s throwing himself around, having a one-man scuffle all over the floor. And it’s never at 5pm, nooo it’s always at 3, 4, 5am… some ungodly hour usually the night before an early call or photoshoot when I need my sleep the most. (How am I the only neighbor witnessing all of this?)

The first time I didn’t know what was happening, so I went up there myself, like “Can you calm the fuck down please? I have cracks in my ceiling because of you. Calm yourself. Thank you.” Yes, it was a combo of yelling and mothering… and that worked… temporarily.

Until the next time, I hear him yelling at himself, then straight up glass shattering everywhere, and “AHHHHH!!” and and I’m like hold up… this man needs serious help. So I called the police, who of course do nothing, and tell me to call 311 next time. Cool.

Except ever since that day I called the police, I’ve seen him in the elevator a few times, and I swear this man won’t even look at me, seriously tense elevator rides.

So what do I do? Keep calling 311? What if one day he ACTUALLY hurts himself? What if one day, he decides to have a spontaneous raging fit, except he comes down the fire escape and takes it out on me?

I really can’t afford to move right now, and why should I have to? When I’ve been here for 2 years and he’s been here for 3 months? And okay, then some poor soul moves in after me and deals with the same thing… then what?

I wish he could just take his meds or see his doctor or something and just get better because this screaming bloody murder, banging and hollering and stuff is just out of control.

Something has to give.